An Invitation to Close Friends for Soundness of Heart
AN INVITATION TO CLOSE FRIENDS
For Soundness Of Heart
And The Abandonment Of Grudges
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah. To proceed:
Indeed, among the greatest blessings of Allah—the Exalted—upon the Muslim servant is that He makes his heart sound, free from animosity and hatred, pure from malice and envy, clear of treachery and betrayal, and healed from resentment and spite; harboring in his heart nothing but the love of good and compassion for all Muslims.
Islam has forbidden everything that incites hatred and fosters animosity. The Prophet—peace and blessings be upon him—said:
«لَا تَبَاغَضُوا، وَلَا تَحَاسَدُوا، وَلَا تَدَابَرُوا، وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا» (متفق عليه)
((Do not hate one another, do not envy one another, do not turn your backs on one another, and be, O servants of Allah, brothers.))
Indeed, among the signs of pettiness and meanness of character is for a servant's heart to be filled with malice, hatred, and envy toward his Muslim brothers. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:
«أَلَا أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِخَيْرِكُمْ مِنْ شَرِّكُمْ؟ خَيْرُكُمْ مَنْ يُرْجَى خَيْرُهُ وَيُؤْمَنُ شَرُّهُ، وَشَرُّكُمْ مَنْ لَا يُرْجَى خَيْرُهُ وَلَا يُؤْمَنُ شَرُّهُ» (رواه الترمذي)
“Shall I not inform you of the best of you from the worst of you? The best of you is the one from whom good is expected and from whose evil [people] are safe, and the worst of you is the one from whom good is not expected and from whose evil [people] are not safe.” (Narrated by At-Tirmidhī)
And among the motivations for a servant to adorn himself with soundness of heart and to strive against his soul to abandon animosity and hatred is what Muslim narrated in his Ṣaḥīḥ on the authority of Abū Hurayrah (may Allāh be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allāh (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:
«تُفْتَحُ أَبْوَابُ الْجَنَّةِ يَوْمَ الْإِثْنَيْنِ، وَيَوْمَ الْخَمِيسِ، فَيُغْفَرُ لِكُلِّ عَبْدٍ لَا يُشْرِكُ بِاللهِ شَيْئًا، إِلَّا رَجُلًا كَانَتْ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ أَخِيهِ شَحْنَاءُ، فَيُقَالُ: أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا، أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا، أَنْظِرُوا هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا» (متفق عليه)
“The gates of Paradise are opened on Monday and Thursday, and every servant who does not associate anything with Allāh is forgiven, except for a man between whom and his brother there is a grudge (shaḥnāʾ). It is then said: ‘Give these two respite until they reconcile, give these two respite until they reconcile, give these two respite until they reconcile.’” (Agreed upon)
Al-Ṭībī (may Allāh have mercy on him) said:
"A Mushāḥin [one harboring a grudge] means: one who hates and is hostile toward someone, not for the sake of religion... Al-Shaḥnāʾ [grudge or rancour] is enmity and hatred. Perhaps what is meant is that which occurs between Muslims due to the 'soul that persistently commands evil' (al-nafs al-ammārah bi-al-sū’), where neither party feels safe from the harm of the other’s hand or tongue; for that leads to killing, and it may even end in disbelief (kufr), as it often leads to deeming the blood and wealth of the enemy lawful." End. — (Mirqāt al-Mafātīḥ Sharḥ al-Mishkāt)
Indeed, sound chests and sound hearts are those filled with piety (taqwā) and faith; they are expansive enough to hold the meanings of Islam, encompassing of noble character, and saturated with compassion and tolerance. Thus, they overflow with goodness and benevolence, and their owner is characterized by every beautiful trait.
His inner self is founded upon clarity and purity, and the love of good for others; he conceals nothing but goodness and righteousness, and his heart harbors nothing but good intentions. Thus, he is at peace within himself, and people are safe from him.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allāh have mercy on him) explained that soundness of the heart (salāmat al-qalb) is a truly noble state for those who recognize it and have tasted its sweetness. It entails that one does not occupy his heart and his inner self with the harm he has suffered, nor with the pursuit of revenge or the gratification of his ego. Rather, he empties his heart of such matters, realizing that its soundness, its coolness, and its freedom from these burdens are more beneficial, more delightful, and more helpful to his own interests. For if the heart is preoccupied with a specific thing, it misses out on what is more important and better for it; in this way, the person is misled (maghbūn). A wise person does not settle for this, he sees it as the conduct of the foolish. So where is the "soundness of the heart" compared to a heart filled with rancor, whispers, and constant thoughts of revenge?
Ibn Rajab (may Allāh have mercy on him) said:
"The best of deeds is the soundness of the chest (salāmat al-ṣadr) from all types of animosity. The most superior form of this is the heart's safety from animosity toward the generality of Muslims—wishing good for them, offering them sincere counsel, and loving for them what one loves for oneself." — (Laṭā’if al-Ma‘ārif, paraphrased)
Indeed, soundness of the chest is a sign of merit and honor.
On the authority of ‘Abdullāh bin ‘Amr, it was said to the Messenger of Allāh (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him):
“Which of the people is best?” He replied:
«كُلُّ مَخْمُومِ الْقَلْبِ، صَدُوقِ اللِّسَانِ»
“Everyone who is makhmūm al-qalb (clean of heart) and truthful in speech.”
They said: “As for "truthful in speech", we know this; but what is makhmūm al-qalb?” He replied:
«هُوَ التَّقِيُّ النَّقِيُّ، لَا إِثْمَ فِيهِ، وَلَا بَغْيَ، وَلَا غِلَّ، وَلَا حَسَدَ»
“It is the one who is pious and pure, in whom there is no sin, no transgression, no malice, and no envy.”
(Narrated by Ibn Mājah)
Al-Makhmūm means the pure. From this, it is said: “A man is makhmūm al-qalb” if his heart is pure of malice and envy.
It says in An-Nihāyah: “It is derived from khammamtu al-bayt — meaning: when you sweep and clean the house. And al-khumāmah (with a ḍammah on the khā’) means: the sweepings or rubbish that is removed.”
‘Alī al-Qārī (may Allāh have mercy on him) said: “[Makhmūm Al-qalb] i.e: 'sound of heart', due to the statement of the Exalted:
﴿إِلَّا مَنۡ أَتَى ٱللَّهَ بِقَلۡبٖ سَلِيمٖ﴾
{Only those who come before Allah with a pure heart ˹will be saved˺.} (Ash-Shu‘arā’: 89)
It is derived from khamamtu al-bayt, used when you have swept the house. The meaning is: that his heart is swept clean of the dust of ‘others’ [besides Allāh] and purified from the filth of [lowly] character.”— (Mirqāt al-Mafātīḥ)
[Ibn al-Qayyim said] “This heart is the most abundant of hearts in goodness; it performs acts of righteousness out of seeking closeness to the One for whom it yearns. It surges with types of piety... (and) springs of goodness flow from it, and fountains of righteousness burst forth from it.”— (Ṭarīq al-Hijratayn by Ibn al-Qayyim)
Indeed, the soundness of the chest (purity of heart) is a comfort for its possessor, a cause for the rectitude of one’s mind, the clarity of one’s intellect, the tranquility of one’s heart, and the well-being of one’s soul. It is a healing from the pains, aches, and suffering of rancor, hatred, and envy, and from all other ailments and afflictions of the chest.
For this reason, He—Glorified be He—linked salvation on the Day of Resurrection to the soundness, health, and goodness of the heart. He—Majestic and Exalted—said:
﴿يَوۡمَ لَا يَنفَعُ مَالٞ وَلَا بَنُونَ • إِلَّا مَنۡ أَتَى ٱللَّهَ بِقَلۡبٖ سَلِيمٖ﴾
﴾The Day when neither wealth nor children will be of any benefit. • Only those who come before Allah with a pure heart ˹will be saved˺﴿ (Ash-Shu‘arā’: 88-89).
The pure/sound heart is that which loves for people what it loves for itself; all people are safe from its deception, injustice, hatred, and envy, and it has submitted to Allāh such that it equates nothing else with Him.
Sa‘īd ibn al-Musayyib — may Allāh have mercy on him — said: "The sound heart (al-qalb as-salīm) is the healthy heart, and it is the heart of the believer. ‘Awf al-A‘rābī asked Muḥammad ibn Sīrīn: 'What is the sound heart?' He replied: 'The one that is sincere toward Allāh — Mighty and Majestic — regarding His creation.'"
Shaykh al-Islām — may Allāh have mercy on him — said: "The praised sound heart is that which desires good and not evil. The perfection of this lies in knowing both good and evil; as for the one who does not know evil, that is a deficiency in him for which he is not praised."
Ibn al-‘Arabī — may Allāh have mercy on him — said: "The heart cannot be sound if it is resentful, envious, conceited, or arrogant. The Prophet — peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him — stipulated as a condition of faith that one loves for his brother what he loves for himself."
As for a truly great person; the higher he rises toward the horizons of perfection, the broader his chest becomes, the greater his forbearance grows. He seeks excuses for people, looks for justifications for their mistakes, and deals with them in the gentlest way appropriate to their condition.
The Prophet—peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him—was among the most eager of people regarding the soundness of his heart. He used to say in his supplication:
«رَبِّ تَقَبَّلْ تَوْبَتِي، وَاغْسِلْ حَوْبَتِي، وَأَجِبْ دَعْوَتِي، وَثَبِّتْ حُجَّتِي، وَسَدِّدْ لِسَانِي، وَاهْدِ قَلْبِي، وَاسْلُلْ سَخِيمَةَ صَدْرِي» (رواه الترمذي)
“O Lord, accept my repentance, wash away my sin, answer my call, strengthen my argument, guide my tongue, direct my heart, and draw out the rancor (Al-Sakhīmah) of my chest.” (Narrated by at-Tirmidhī).
Al-Sakhīmah refers to hatred, grudge, and malice residing in the soul. It was stated in al-Nihāyah: "His saying: ‘And draw out the sakhīmah of my chest’ means the hatred within the soul; i.e., remove it."
Furthermore, the criterion of superiority among the Companions of the Prophet—peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him—was the purity of hearts and the soundness of chests, rather than a mere abundance of acts of worship.
Iyās ibn Mu‘āwiyah said, describing the Companions of the Prophet — peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him —:
"The best of them in their view were those with the soundest chests and those who engaged least in backbiting."
Sufyān ibn Dīnār said:
"I said to Abū Bashīr — who was among the companions of ‘Alī —: 'Tell me about the deeds of those who came before us.' He replied: 'They used to do little work yet were rewarded greatly.' I asked: 'And why was that?' He said: 'Because of the soundness of their chests.'"
For this reason, when death approached Abū Dujānah — may Allāh be pleased with him — his face was beaming. When he was asked about the cause of that, he said: "There is nothing among my deeds more reliable to me than two things: as for one of them, I never used to speak about that which did not concern me; and as for the other, my heart was always sound toward the Muslims."
After the Battle of the Camel, ‘Imrān ibn Ṭalḥah ibn ‘Ubaydullāh entered upon ‘Alī ibn Abī Ṭālib — may Allāh be pleased with him. His father, Ṭalḥah — may Allāh be pleased with him — had been martyred, so ‘Alī welcomed him, drew him close, and said: "I indeed hope that Allāh will make me and your father among those of whom He said:
﴿وَنَزَعۡنَا مَا فِي صُدُورِهِم مِّنۡ غِلٍّ إِخۡوَٰنًا عَلَىٰ سُرُرٖ مُّتَقَٰبِلِينَ﴾
﴾We will remove whatever bitterness they had in their hearts.[*] In a friendly manner, they will be on thrones, facing one another.﴿" (Al-Ḥijr: 47).
(* i.e., the bitterness they had in their hearts towards other believers who wronged them in the worldly life)
Ibn al-Qayyim — may Allāh have mercy on him — said:
"I have never seen anyone more embodying of these traits than Shaykh al-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah — may Allāh sanctify his soul. Some of his senior companions used to say: 'I wish I were to my friends as he is to his enemies and opponents!' I never saw him supplicate against any of them; rather, he would supplicate for them.
He continued: I came to him one day to give him the glad tidings of the death of his greatest enemy, who was the most severe in enmity and harm toward him. He rebuked me, expressed his disapproval, and recited the verse of returning to Allāh (istirjā‘ : reciting, Innā lillāhi wa innā ilayhi rājiʿūn). Then he immediately went to the family of that deceased opponent, offered his condolences, and said: 'I am in his place for you; there is no matter in which you need assistance except that I shall help you with it.' They were delighted by him, supplicated for him, and held this conduct of his in high esteem—so may Allāh have mercy on him and be pleased with him."
And he (Shaykh al-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah) — may Allāh have mercy on him — wrote a letter regarding those who wronged him, opposed him, and bore resentment against him (i.e. those amongst ahlu-sunnah), saying:
"The first point I shall begin with regarding this principle is that which concerns myself. You know—may Allah be pleased with you—that I do not wish for any of the general body of Muslims, let alone our companions, to be harmed in any way whatsoever, whether inwardly or outwardly. I hold no reproach against any of them, nor any blame at all.
On the contrary, I hold for them honor, esteem, love, and respect many times greater than before, each according to their station.
A man is either a mujtahid (one exercising legal reasoning) who is correct, or one who is mistaken, or one who is a sinner. The first is rewarded. The second, along with his reward for his striving, is excused and forgiven. As for the third, may Allāh forgive us, him, and the rest of the believers.
Therefore, we set aside any discussion that contradicts this principle.—such as one saying: 'So-and-so fell short,' 'So-and-so did not do his part,' 'The Sheikh was harmed because of so-and-so,' 'So-and-so was the cause of this issue,' or 'So-and-so was talking about plotting against so-and-so.' And similar statements that contain disparagement towards certain companions and brethren.
Indeed, I do not condone anyone who harms them in this manner, and there is no power nor strength except with Allah. (Wa lā ḥawla wa lā quwwata illā billāh)
Rather, such talk brings blame back upon the one who says it; unless he has good deeds and is among those whom Allāh forgives — Allāh willing — and Allāh has pardoned what is past."...
...So, I do not like for anyone to be avenged against because of his lying against me, or his injustice and aggression. For I have absolved every Muslim, and I love good for all Muslims, and I desire for every believer the good that I love for myself. Those among them who lied and acted unjustly are absolved from my side." — End. (See.)
إذا أدمـت قـوارصـكم فـؤادي *** صبرت على أذاكم وانطويت
If your biting words cause my heart to bleed,
***I bear your harm patiently and withdraw.
وجـئـت إليكم طـلـق المحـيا *** كـأني ما سمعـت ولا رأيــت
And I come to you with a cheerful face, ***
As if I had neither heard nor seen.
A friend said to Ibn as-Sammāk: "Our appointment is tomorrow, so that we may reproach one another." He replied: "Rather, our appointment is tomorrow, so that we may forgive one another."
مِن الـيـوم تـعـارفـنا ونطوي ما جَرَى منا
فلا كـــان ولا صــار ولا قــلتــم ولا قــلـنا
وإن كــــان ولا بــد من العتبِ فبالحسنى
From today, we come to know each other anew,
And we fold away whatever transpired between us.
So let it be as if it never was, nor came to pass,
Nor did you speak, nor did we speak.
And if there must inevitably be,
Some reproach, then let it be with kindness.
— Written by: Naṣr Ramaḍān (source)
~ Galandān